is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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