So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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