I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
