You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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