just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize