I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We got so high we made milksteak
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
did you just send me my own nude
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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