Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
