I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
