If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
