i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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