Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
