I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
