I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
