She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I need to align my fucking chakras
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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