a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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