Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I supernannyed him into submission
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
