My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
