i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
