VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
