He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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