hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
