is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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