just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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