I wanna bring you to show and tell
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
