For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
