my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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