So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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