I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
