He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
