Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
