i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
