Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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