"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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