i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
