Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
