is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
