A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
