Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
