We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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