I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
