so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
