I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
