So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
