come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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