Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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