Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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