Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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