Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Are we in a gay sports bar?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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