oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
