we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
