Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
