Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
