haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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