the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
