would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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